callieluvr (callieluvr) wrote,

Moment of Surrender 7/?

Moment of Surrender 7/?

Title: Moment of Surrender 7/?
Rating: R (for language)
Pairing: Callie/Mark, Callie/Derek
Disclaimer: All characters, events, settings and situations mentioned in this work are sole property of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, in constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a  fictional context and are not intended to be defamatory or factual in anyway.  
“Don’t walk me out, okay?”

At the moment of surrender
I folded to my knees


He sat in the chair across the room, leaning forward as he rested his elbows on his knees, wringing his hands together as he stared at the plush carpet, his eyes darting up once in a while to catch a glimpse of her in the chair on the other end of the room.

She hadn’t moved from where she sat twenty minutes ago after she had walked in. Her hair was damp from the shower, and the smell of her shampoo lingered in his room. He hoped, secretly, that the scent would somehow tangle in his belongings. She wore an old, gray knitted sweater that was too big for her and out of shape. He stopped making fun of it once he learned it belonged to her grandmother once.

Her arms were crossed protectively over her chest, her eyes  glued to her lap as she slouched back comfortably in the large, stuffed chair. He’d never really noticed how easily she seemed to fall into place in his life. How right she looked amongst his things.

His eyes fell on his clenched hands again and his head shot up suddenly as a ruffling coming from her direction stirred his thoughts.

She cleared her throat and her back protested as she sat up and stretched her spine in the process. She licked her lips, wrapped herself up tightly in her grandmother’s sweater and took a moment, a deep breath, and looked up. Her eyes met his and she had to look away instantly.

“Did you mean it?” She asked, the broken silence almost painful to their ears.

He watched her for an instant before replying, “I don’t know.” Then, after a pause, deciding that he’s played this game before, he added, “Yes.”

She caught sight of his unmade bed and thought of the many times they’d share on that bed, “Why are you back at The Archfield? I thought you had found a place…”

He shrugged, even though she wasn’t looking at him anyway, “I like this place better.”

“Am I supposed to say it back, now?” She asked, her voice muffled as she lifted a her hand up to her mouth and covered it briefly.

“I don’t know.” He replied.

“Do you want me to?”

There was a pause.

“Only if you mean it.”

She swallowed hard and her eyes stung with tears the threatened to fall off the ledge of her eyes, “This is hard for me.” She told him, their eyes meeting and holding as they spoke now.

“I know.”

“I’m confused.”

“I know.”

“And I’m mad at you--” Her voice hardened a bit then and she winced when his remained soft, his eyes emitting pain, “--I’m SO mad at you right now!”

“I know…”

“This is hurting me--”

“I’m sorry--” He offered frankly.

“Why are you being so caring and understanding? Why aren‘t you taking advantage of the situation and trying to jump my bones?” She asked through her tears.

He simply stared back--with that look--and he didn’t have to say anything else. She knew why.

She took a deep breath and more tears fell as she exhaled. “I want you to know that--I don’t know what I’m feeling right now. I’m feeling a lot--and, I don’t know what’s going to happen--”

“I know--”

“And I don’t know why I’m here. And me being here doesn’t mean anything right now--”

“I understand.” He nodded once.

“Except--” She rolled her eyes and mentally kicked herself for not being in control of her emotions, “--as soon as Derek remembered and he told me what happened--and I remembered what happened--I just wanted to come here.” She shook her head, “And I really don’t know why. I just really wanted to come here and yell at you and be angry with you and now that I’m here, I just want to crawl into your bed and fall asleep because it’s about the only place that’s going to make me feel safe right now.”

He watched, helplessly as she cried, and for the first time in a very long time, he felt truly powerless.

“I’m a horrible person--”

“You’re not.”

“Then, why do I feel like one?” She asked him, really wanting an answer.

All he could manage was, “You’re not.”

She glanced at his bed again and he added, “You can sleep there if you want, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

She shook her head and looked down at her lap in shame, “It’s not the bed I came here for.”

He hated seeing her like that, but his heart couldn’t help but feel a flutter at her latest sentence. Maybe there was a chance.

“Should I go?”  She asked him, fidgeting with her hands before looking back up at him.

“Do you want to?”

“There’s a difference between what I want to do and what I SHOULD want to do. Tell me what to do.”

He saw the turmoil, evident in her eyes, the question in her tone. He didn’t want her this way. He wanted her to know she wanted him. He didn’t want her to wonder.

“Then you should go.” He nodded and forced a smile that she returned with equal uncertainty.

“Don’t walk me out, okay?” She asked softly, and he didn’t reply as she stood and walked out of his room, closing the door softly behind her.

He watched the door long after she was gone. The slightest trace of her shampoo lingered in the air, and he’d never missed anyone that much in his life.

************************************************************************************* *************************************************************************************

The last of his fifth beer tasted almost like it was going to be okay. Almost.

He placed the empty bottle on the floor, next to the others, and stretched his legs out before him, staring up at the naked sky. He breathed in, cool mountain air and wished he could enjoy it more. Not two nights ago, he had thought about bringing Callie up to the trailer, cook her dinner, maybe. Set a blanket out on the grass. Callie seemed like the type to enjoy that.

Derek was the type to enjoy that, too.

He turned as headlights made their way onto his property and he recognized the car as Callie’s when they dimmed, then shut off along with the engine.

He twisted open another beer and waited expectedly as Callie exited the car.

Her hair was back into a loose ponytail and her face was fresh and make up free. She looked beautiful.

“Hey.” She greeted him softly, carefully taking the steps up to the trailer.

“Hey.”  he replied dryly before taking a swig from his bottle, “Out on a joyride?”

“Sort of.” She nodded, watching the side of his face, his jaw was clenched and she wanted more than anything to kiss his cheek and tell him to stop gritting his teeth. But she stood back, waiting a minute before adding, “I’m not going to apologize for what happened.”

As predicted, he rolled his eyes, stood up, tossed the beer bottle aside and turned into the trailer as the bottle fell with a soft thud on the grass.

The door creaked and slammed shut and she moved towards the open window giving her view of his tiny kitchen. She peered in, “I know you’re upset and angry and I’m not going to take that away from you. But I’m upset, too. And I’m a little confused. And--” he continued to ignore her, moving around in the kitchen, looking inside the refrigerator, then inside the cabinets, for nothing in particular. She paused, deciding to tell him and just give him his space, “--I know you need space. To think and hate me some more. I need space to think as well, so-- anyway, I’m going to be gone for about a week. I just--wanted to let you know. Just in case you wanted to--come and egg my car or something. I won’t be here.”

He froze, braced over the sink, listening to her, he thought about turning around, but he was pretty sure he was still as angry as he was drunk, and he didn’t think it would be safe to talk to her just yet.

He still wanted to tell her he’d miss her, though. Wanted to ask her where she was going and to tell her to call him when she there. Wherever there was.  Wanted to kiss her goodbye.

“Have a good trip.” He said coldly.

She stopped, and waited, just in case he wanted to take it back. She got nothing, and she bit her cheek to keep her emotions form getting the best of her again. “Thanks.” She said in a small voice before turning and heading for her car.

He didn’t turn around until he heard her car drive off, and by then it was too late to apologize for being a prick.


“Cristina, get up--” Callie called after entering her roommates room and switching on the light. “--come on, get up.” She called again, patting Cristina’s ass as she climbed onto her bed.

“I’m going to  kick you.” Cristina mumbled against her pillow, “Get out of my room.”

“No, you have to come with me” Callie insisted, “Please, come on.”

Cristina groaned, and resisted the urge o punch Callie, only because the urgency in her voice actually seemed serious, “What?! What’s going onnn…” She turned over, her eyes still half closed as she stared miserably at Callie.

“I need you to come to Los Angeles with me.”

“Okay. We’ll go. We’ll go tomorrow…”

“No--” Callie pulled the blankets off Cristina and pleaded with her, “--please.”

Cristina sat up then, meeting Callie’s gaze, “Are you serious?”

She simply nodded in return.

Cristina sighed heavily and thought about asking, but knew better, “Okay. Fine.” She climbed slowly out of bed, “FINE…”

“Thanks, I owe you.”

“Fuck yeah, you owe me…” Cristina growled as she climbed out of bed, “You’re packing my shit. I have to pee.”

Callie smiled and hopped off the bed to grab Cristina’s things as she disappeared into the bathroom.


Addison Montgomery tapped her foot anxiously under her desk, her new Gucci shows making a soft tap-tap sound against the floor. She worried her bottom lip as she drummed her pen on the desk top. She picked up her phone from beside her and turned it over, no messages. She pushed her chair back and smoothed her hands over her skirt as she moved around the desk.

She took a deep breath to calm her nervous energy and smiled at a passing patient as she made her way toward the front desk, where a new blonde, receptionist sat, ignoring the phone ringing.

“Hey, Sandy--” She greeted the young girl politely.

“Oh, hey Doctor Monty!”

“Don’t--don’t call me that.” Addison shook her head awkwardly, then looked from the ringing phone and back to the girl, who was simply staring back with a perfect smile in her direction, “Sandy, do I have any messages?”

“No, uh-uh.” The blonde shook her head.

Just as Addison was about to start yelling, an arm came up from behind her, reached over to the other side of the desk and pulled back a handful of post its.

“Here you go.” Dell handed Addison her messages, “I’m still training her, but--” He leaned in confidently, “--it’s a little difficult.”

“Yeah, I don’t envy you right now.” Addison replied dryly as she looked through her messages and frowned, “Dell, did a Callie or a Doctor Torres call?”

“What, your friend from Seattle? No, I don’t think so.”

“She should have been here by now. I should have picked her up--”

“You know how Santa Monica girls are hot in a--fake tan, blonde hair, skimpy kind of way?”

“Yeah…” Addison replied, confused, “--I’m not really sure where you’re going with this, Dell.”

“There’s a girl over there who’s hot in a different way. And I don’t think she’s a patient because I’ve never seen her before and now she’s coming your way with a  huge beaming smile, so I think that might be your friend.” He tells her quickly.

At that, Addison turns around expectedly and meets Callie halfway across the lobby, pulling her into a tight hug. “There you are!” She exclaimed as they pull away, touching Callie’s hair appreciatively, “I was  wondering where you were, your hair looks cute--”

“Thanks--” Callie replied, doing to same to Addison’s hair, and adding, “--the bob’s growing out. Thank god…”

“Oh, ha-ha…”

“Oh my god, are you sleeping with HER, too?”

Addison turned towards the door and spotted Cristina walking in, sunglasses in place. She leaned in to Callie’s ear and asked in a whisper, “You brought Cristina Yang with you?”

Callie sighed, “Yeah.”

“Hey, what’s up?” Cristina greeted the redhead upon reaching them.

Addison, feeling awkward and being stuck between a hug and a handshake, decided to pat the smaller woman’s shoulder instead, “Hey…Cristina. How are you?”


“I’m Dell.” He cut in, shaking Callie’s hand, and smiling widely.

“Callie--” She replied, smiling nervously at the younger guy who wouldn’t stop staring.

Cristina and Addison stared at the scene with mock interest, before Addison cut in between them, “Callie, Cristina, let’s go inside my office.”

Cristina snickered as Addison ushered both she and Callie toward her office and Dell mumbled incoherently that it was nice to meet them.

Once inside, Cristina slumped down into the couch while Callie and Addison settled at the desk.

“Someone has a new boyfriend…” Cristina teased, chuckling at the look Callie shot at her over her shoulder.

“I--do not need any more men in my life, thank you.”


“Yeah, no kidding.” Addison added after Cristina, “So, what happened? How did you leave things?”

“She just left.” Cristina said bluntly.

Callie breathed in deeply and exhaled heavily before replying, “I just needed some time to think. And sort things out. I thought maybe you could make my mind up for me. Seeing as how you’ve been, literally, where I am right now.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t end up with either of them.”

“I’m sorry to interrupt this ADORABLE catch up game you two are playing, but this would be so much more entertaining over alcohol.” Cristina informed them, a tight smirk on her lips.

The door burst open and all three women looked up to see Naomi and Violet walk in, looking curiously from Callie to Cristina.

“Hi.” Naomi greeted warmly as Violet waved politely, “We ready to go drinking?” She asked and Cristina immediately perked up.


It had been a long day for both men.

It felt heavy  on their shoulders and the tension weighed down on them throughout the workday.

Mark wanted to call her and hear her voice, know where she was. She’d heard from Meredith that she had dragged Cristina along on a trip. Where and for how long, no one knew.

Derek wanted to  call her and demand an answer. He wanted to know what she’d decided and where the hell she had gone,  but then again, they never really reached that place.

They had managed to avoid each other completely and bury themselves in paperwork and surgeries.

As the hours ticked away, however, Derek grew angrier. And Mark grew weary and frustrated. As if the lack of contact with one another was doing its job and building the tension in the space between.

Derek managed to go the entire day without punching a wall, and Mark managed to go the entire day without calling looking for Derek to see if he wanted to punch a wall, so maybe he’d punch him instead and they could finally settle things once and for all.

Derek shoved his phone into his jacket as he walked onto the back parking lot, groaned as he craned his neck.

On the other end of the parking lot, Mark spotted Derek, and upon their eyes meeting, their strides were longer and quicker, headed for each other.

Derek dropped his briefcase as he went, and mark dropped his car keys on the pavement just before he lunged forward and his fist made contact with Derek’s jaw.

They punched and kicked and even scratched, every single ounce of pent up frustration toward one another coming through in bursts of anger until they were both tired and panting.

Mark wiped the blood off his nose with a sore hand, stumbling back against the nearest wall as he glared at an equally exhausted Derek, “You can have anyone else! Why did you have to go after her?!”

Derek closed and opened his fists, shook his head and tasted the metallic taste of blood on his lip. He shook his head and looked him dead in the eye, “I don’t owe you any explanation. You always want what you can’t have, you always want what someone already has, you always want what I want, you slept with my WIFE, you hit on my girlfriend, you take whatever you want and it doesn’t work that way, you can’t just TAKE whatever you want…” He spat. 

“I AM NOT TAKING ANYTHING! This time, for once, I am not taking anything from you. I don’t want to take something that’s yours, I want to keep what’s been mine. And I’m not going  to fight with you anymore. This is it. I’m DONE.” He panted slightly as he caught his breath, “But I am going to keep her. Because I am done letting everything go for you--”

“What have you let go for me, you are the most selfish sun of a bitch--”

“No, you know what--I don’t care you think!” Mark interrupted, “There was a time, in the past, when in this moment, I would apologize and step aside and make it all better for you because your lifeline is paved with gold and god forbid anyone walks ahead of you. But, right now? I don’t give a SHIT!”

Derek watched in utter rage as Mark spit blood on the pavement, picked up his car keys off the ground, and disappeared into a sea of parked cars.

He sank back against the wall and took a deep breath as he stared up at the sky and fished his phone out of his pocket. He dialed, pressed it to his ear and waited, wincing as he was sent straight to voicemail, “Callie, it’s Derek.” He paused a second and shut his eyes, “I’m sorry. Please call me so we can talk.”


Callie stumbled drunkenly against her hotel room door, giggling a little before turning to look at Cristina who was having a hard time opening her door, “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Cristina mumbled, sighing victoriously as the lock clicked and she pushed her door open. She turned toward Callie and smiled, “I love Los Angeles under the influence.”

Callie shook her head as Cristina disappeared into her room, “Goodnight.”


She laughed and released a heavy breath as she inserted the keycard into the slot and it opened on her first try. She smiled proudly and nodded once before moving to step inside.

“How drunk are you?” Mark asked from the open elevator door, smiling when she turned to look at him and almost fell sideways turning to quickly, “Because I can catch up and beat you.” He added, stepping off the elevator.

She blinked a couple of times and winced as she stepped out onto the hall, her palm, flat against the door to hold it open ,”Mark? What are you doing here?” She got a closer to look as he stepped into the light and saw a tiny cut near his eye and his slightly swollen nose and she slightly grew worried, “What the hell happened to your face?”

“Nothing. I fell--” He joked, coming to stand in front of her, wanting really badly to kiss her hello. “So, how drunk are you?”

“Not very anymore, you kind of ruined my buzz, seriously, what the hell happened to you?!”

“I’m fine--” He laughed as she reached for his hand.

“You are not fine, look at your knuckles!” She inspected his hand closely, “Did you get in a fight?” She stopped suddenly, his injuries making a lot more sense as she thought about it, “You got in a fight.”

“You should see the other guy…”

She looked up to meet his eyes and she swallowed a lump in her throat as her heart rate started to quicken, “What are you doing here?” She asked in a whisper, slightly unnerved at the feel of his eyes on her lips.

“I wanted to see you, and--”

“And?” She asked as he webbed his fingers with hers and stepped closer.

“Let me in.”

She looked up and shook her head slightly, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I do.”

She leaned in to his touch when he reached out and touched her cheek. She had no more will to protest when he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers, and she said against his mouth, “Come in--”


Tags: callie/derek, callie/mark

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